I have spent this evening watching 3 episodes of One Born Every Minute whilst my sweet little girl squirmed and kicked and wiggled about.  It was delicious!  I can'r believe I am, what, 6.5 weeks off having a baby!  I have lots to do on her room, lots to bring down from the loft and sort, wash and organise, I have not packed or thought about a hospital bag or really thought much about that time when I will be in hospital.  I just think about having her lying asleep on my (enormous) chest and snuffling gently.  I can't wait for her to complete our family of five.

I have just ordered my supermarket shopping to be delivered tomorrow night and I am pleased with myself.  I have not done a meal plan as normal for the week as I just did not have the brainpower to do it tonight but I do need bread before Wednesday morning or my children will go sandwichless in school.  I am so tired I will probably be astounded at what I purchased tomorrow when the delivery arrives!  I normally get a surprise or two in a supermarket shop which is lovely.  Last time it was sponge cake flour.  What on earth is that?  I am so glad that somebody else ordered it and it was delivered to me in error!  I shall make sponges that are lighter than air now (but could never justify ordering it myself)!

My actual Christmas week shop is already waiting in its delivery slot to come just before Christmas and I am heartily pleased with my organisational powers and foresight to book a good slot nearly 3 weeks in advance!  Get me!  Goodness knows what we shall be eating for Christmas dinner but I do know that my 8 tins of chopped tomatoes will be delivered here in good time to make some tomato soup if I never get around to deciding on the meat for lunch.

Any ideas?

Pink in the House of Trouser!

Well I have had a couple of days to get used to the news but I have to say that it is still blowing my head off - we are expecting a little girl!

I was so 100% sure it was a boy and Mr G was sure we were having a girl but I pooh-poohed his idea (I mean a mother knows her body doesn't she?).  I could not believe it when the sonographer said it was a girl!  I actually said I don't believe her!  We told the rest of the family who are all so pleased for us and surprised too as my 2 boys are the only grandchildren and nephews on both sides.  Mr G and I are in shock (me especially - "I was  ... Wrong?") and are finding it strange to use words like "daughter" and "she" and "her" as they have not really been in our daily vocabulary until now!

I am so thrilled.  I have always wanted three children and now, knowing that I am having a girl, I am reflecting on the other option of three boys.  I love having two boys now and I was looking forward to having three boys and just thought that that was the way it was going to be for me.  A girl has really made me think about how the dynamic in our house is going to change.  I love the idea of having another female in the house (even our cat is male) and I cannot wait to meet her!

I have to say, I am concerned with the amount of pink that everyone is telling me is going to hit my house.  I am not a pink girl and after scaring myself to nausea in the baby clothes aisle of my local supermarket.  Does it really have to explode all over the house when a girl arrives?  There has been a girl living in my house for as long as I can remember and there is no pink anywhere - not even in the wardrobe!  What will our new arrival bring with her?  Will the House of Trouser go pink?

Whatever she brings she will be loved for it by us all.

What time is dinner?

For a long time now, I have pondered on when the meal called dinner should take place.  Should it be in the middle of the day or is that lunch?  Should it be in the evening or is that tea?

I have always been brought up to have dinner in the middle of the day and tea in the evening.  I think that is a working class 'thing' and that is what we ate at home when I lived with my parents.  Since moving out (almost 20 years ago) I have vascillated between lunch and dinner and tea and dinner, not really feeling comfortable with anything.  I think dinner in the evening is when you go out for a meal (out for dinner) well into the evening but tea is eaten with the children earlier on at 5.30-6.00.  I don't feel right having tea at 8.  Similarly going out for dinner in the middle of the day sounds wrong but it is fine to go out for lunch,  Do I stay in and have dinner at home in the middle of the day?  Not really.  I think it is going to have to be lunch in the middle of the day and tea early or dinner later on in the evening.

I think that makes sense in my steam-rollered mind (crazy day).  It is just the whole middle-classedness of the whole thing that irks me.  Maybe that is just what it is.  I am a working class snob who has moved into middle class but is clinging to her roots, and remembering what Mum used to do.

What time do you have dinner?

Not Right

I sit here, on pins, waiting for this first "Mummmmmyyyyyyy?" of what I think could be a very long night.  Both little gherkins are asleep but they are neither of them 'right'  I would not be surprised if Little Pickle is up puking all night and Cornichon has started going complaining about this, that and the other but nothing specific after 'lights out'.  Tonight's one was "I feel funny".  Little Pickle was sick this afternoon after drinking too much squash and also had a nap for half an hour at 5 which he never normally does unless he is ill.

I do so hate to see my little ones poorly but I am lucky that a night of not being 'right' is the worst of my worries, knowing that there are so many parents out there who have much bigger worries on a daily basis to contend with.  Poor little April Jones's parents - what on earth are they going through tonight?  My heart breaks for them.  Sleep well little April.

When I hear the "Mummmmmmmmmyyyyy?" tonight I will be glad to go in and cuddle them better even more so if the first "Mummmmmmyyyyy?" comes at 0650 tomorrow.

Time is ticking on by.  I sit here, waiting for my hair dye to take and I realise that I have not blogged for ages.  I am still here.  I am still plugging away at the little things I love.  My reading list is 1 and 2 halves down, 10 to go.  My garden is getting gardened gradually.  My running is up and down.  My weight is up and down.  My crafting is getting ... somewhere but I have signed up for a fayre so things will have to go up a gear.  My family is gorgeous and funsome.  My hair is done.  I will return tomorrow.

Small achievements, big picture

I love parenting. I think about it constantly. I love spending time with my boys. I make a conscious effort every day to to teach them about the good things in life that will help them grow. I am a bit of, well not quite a "stickler" but I do love cooking heathy food for them and I steer away from processed food, however convenient it may be. I am not totally against the odd trip to fast food places or the occasional frozen convenience food, but I really love making a special treat of eating out and making my own convenience foods and bunging them in the microwave for a quick 5 minute 'ding tea'.

Anyway back to my point in the title of this post. Cornichon has a packed lunch every day in school which I make every morning (as I really think that sandwiches made the night before can get a bit wet/dry/wet and dry and I've made my bed I'll lie on it so I am not complaining!). I make him a sandwich (he has had couscous/rice/pasta salads in the past but they come straight home and are wolfed down here as I think the other kids may take the mick when he has anything more interesting than a sandwich) and he has a little salad (veg/cheese/olive/whatever chopped up in a tub) and a dessert (yoghurt/fruit/flapjack/whatever). He eats most of it each day and I am pleased that he loves my non-processed foods. Yesterday he went shopping with Mr G and they came home with Mini Baby Bel cheeses as his friend has them. OK I thought. He can have them to see what they are like, let's see how they go, and I popped one in his box today.

"How was your dinner today sweetheart"

"Nice. I didn't like the cheese though. Friend A has that cheese but I didn't like it. It doesn't taste like proper cheese."

I did a silent punch to the air. I am bringing up a boy who loves "proper" food!

Happy Days (cough cough)

Things are good here right now. I went back to work today which was insane but not bad. I came home to two lovely smilers who are both leaning to sleep. We had a full night of sleep last night as LP is going to sleep on his own and I had the pleasure of being kept awake by my own little irritating cough - not an irritation from anyone else in the house! Strange but pleasantly true after 4 years of constant bad nights!

A night with the in-laws, on the wii with wiine in hand and currii on the table.

I'm happy, mii (as they say round 'year)

Back

Well Turkey was a blast. Not so much a week of R&R as I don't feel like I had a rest from the usual 'work' of family but it was a break from the old routine (which though great and essential for daily life; it can get a bit boring). The in-laws came with us but it is not so easy to palm off two kids onto two 70 year olds (bless 'em!) as it used to be! We all had a great time and except for a short over-night stay in hospital (Cornichon) we had a great time and would go back tomorrow if we could!

Anyway we are back and in the groove again. I went to WW last night and amazingly DID NOT PUT ON ANY WEIGHT AFTER A WEEK OF 5* ALL INCLUSIVE 7 MEALS A DAY AND PERMANENT BEER. I have to say I did feast on some amazing salads out there but still was no saint and always had a beer on the go. It's amazing what a break to the routine can do for you! I have not been running since we came back (my trainers were a bit of a waste of space in the suitcase too) and neeeeeed to get back into it. Maybe tomorrow night (Mr G is out tonight).

It is Little Pickle's birthday tomorrow! 2 years old! I never think "Where has the time gone?" as I see him every day and make a point of enjoying every day with him and I have a beautiful enormous library of photos of his changes. I am so proud of my little monkey (whose terrible twos came in with a vengeance today) and whose speech is coming on in leaps and bounds. He is very questioning at the moment. "What dat man say? Why he say dat? Why my no go on floor? Why Mummy say me dat?" but I love his inquisitive mind and his ability to tell stories of things he has seen. Every day we talk about the best and wort things of the day and every day he says "Me play wi Bampa and him kick me a ball high high in the sky" even on the days when we don't see Bampa, he is remembering a brilliant brilliant day with Bampa. Sweet sweet boy.

in two minds

We are going on holiday tomorrow and I am in 2 minds about going. Cornichon came out in a rash today and came home early for school yesterday with a high temp and puking. He is better today apart from this rash but is still not right so I took him to the out of hours doctor in the hospital and she said it is a virus and she could not say whether or not to go on holiday but it is not chicken pox. He was quiet today and happy playing on his own but had to be in the same room as me. The in-laws took Little Pickle to their house to give us some time to sort things out which has really helped. It is most strange just having one child again though! I miss LP's presence and noise and trail of destruction and interaction with his big brother. Home soon.

I am also in two minds about going as we are leaving our house in the (capable) hands of our builder who is going to finish off our fascias and guttering and install some PVC widows and remove our fire and put up new curtain poles in our lounge whilst we are away. I trust our builder as he is great but still I worry. I hope it does not spoil the week worrying.

I have packed tonight and I think I have remembered everything. I took the trouble to write a list when I was on holiday last time of the things that I should have brought with me such as spare PJs (for everyone for sick sessions), tea towel, coffee, washing-up liquid, flanne(mopping sicky brows)l, sketchbook and pencils, spare book (DO NOT rely on hotel libraries), bag of fabric and crafty things to play with. Is there anything I have forgotten?

I am sure I will fill another case tomorrow with other essential shit.

Life is good

I took 2 of these

A happy one of these

We all did some of this

I took 109 photos in hope to get one like this

We took this filled with good things

We were given these

and these

This was delightful

I had 30 seconds to do this

There were songs about bananas and Batman

It was a good day

What have Wii done?

After my purchase of the wii, we have, of course been very busy. The in-Laws came over today to look after the boys while I went to work. After the boys were asleep we introduced the in-laws to the joys of wiiing.

Have wii put a strong 45 year marriage on the rocks? My M-i-L took great delight trying to slice her one and only son's head off in sword-fighting and my F-i-L was driven to distraction with the table-tennis as he got resoundingly beaten. They have both gone to bed in a fit of pique as M-i-L lost by 2 points to F-i-L n the bowling. They want to buy one now. They are both 70.

What have wii done?

Three-wheeled wagon

Mr Gherkin has gone off on a jolly with his Dad to watch their rugby team playing away in France so I have had the 2 boys on my own for a couple of days. He felt the usual parental guilt before going away but I told him not to be so ridiculous and to go away and enjoy himself. According to the texts he has been having a brilliant time even though they narrowly lost by 1 point and he had a rugby ball booted into his face during the warm-up (he used to play and be a ball boy so I really don't know why he just took one in the face and got a fat lip and bent glasses!). He is flying home tonight and should be back with us in the morning. It sounds like he has missed us and the boys and I certainly missed him. It's like pushing a three-wheeled wagon - you can do it but after a certain amount of time it starts to get a bit hard. (Hats off to all single parents out there - you have it tough and tiring!) He is a cooling balm for us and my welcome break from them and he fourth wheel to a well-balanced wagon.

Come home Daddy Gherkin, your family misses you.

Family fun day

We don't really celebrate Easter here in the Gherkin Jar as we are not religious, (though I did give in to a chocolate egg hunt around the house which the boys LOVED (Little Pickle bellowed "I GOT ONE!" when he found one all by himself before Cornichon beat him to it!) however I felt I really should do something together as a family so we went to a car boot sale this morning. I had originally planned on going myself alone, with nobody else for a good rummage but Mr Gherkin said "I'll look after the boys, can we come too please? I'd like to have a look!" I really did not think that it would be his thing at all but I could hardly refuse him as he was so sweet. We all went to one about 5 mins down the road and it was lovely! I had time for a good look and they didn't moan and we all came home with something. We had a Scalextrix set for £6, hotwheels set for £3, 4 Transformers for £2, Power Ranger suit for £1.50, Weird Fish jumper for me for £1.50, book for Mr Gherkin for 10p and one for me for 50p. All in all a good shop (although I was thinking about my beautiful streamlined organised toy cupboard with 2 big boxes stuffed into it!

We spent hours playing with the Scalextrix which Cornichon loved but Little Pickle was a bit too young for it, although he had a good go but was a bit heavy-handed with the trigger! We spent the afternoon outside after Mr G cooked a beautiful linguine bolognaise for lunch. I managed to clear out the shed and there is now room to swing a cat in it! Woo hoo! It felt good to sort that as it is our dumping room as we don't have a garage so we really need to keep on top of things in the shed. And now we can! Pat on the back for a job well done! I also put together a little plastic greenhouse that I bought yesterday and it is fab! I can just see it full of little seedlings. Bring on the vag patch!

Update

Auntie M has opened her eyes, knows her date of birth and has made her son go home to pick up her teeth as she did not want to be seen without them. She sounds good! The in-laws will be coming down tomorrow to look after the boys as usual but we will be on amber alert in case they have to drop everything and go back to the hospital. I really feel for my mother-in-law. Auntie M is only 5 years older than her and they are very close. I just hope the next few days are good and that she can get through this. Much love.

Family party

Tomorrow it is my father-in-law's 70th birthday. He sure does not look and certainly does not act it and I am sure he does not think he is actually 70. He is a big kid at heart hose favourite pastime ever is messing about with his grandsons. I am so lucky to have such lovely in-laws who love me and Mr G and adore and dote on our boys. They look after them for 2 days a week whilst I work even though they live 35 miles away and have to get up at the crack of dawn and get home on Tuesday in the dark. They love coming here and we love having them here. We took them out for a meal this evening to our local Italian restaurant. The food was lovely, the wine was fab (shame 2 of us were driving) and the boys were really well-bejaved even though they were tired towards the end. We came home for Rocky Road Birthday Cake and Candles that we all 4 of us made yesterday and which is F-i-L's absolute favourite, and the boys went to bed at about 8.30 which is way later than usual (though Little Pickle did have a little nap in the restaurant he perked up when the RR came on the table!). I hope the boys sleep well tonight. Little P has been bad recently but I think that is more to do with me than him. I need to go to bed earlier and be in a better state to go to him when he wakes and soothe him without picking him up and getting into the double bed with him and having terrible sleep after this (like last night and the night before and before that). Hopefully a good night tonight will inspire me into another one tomorrow night without the grand-help!

Crowded House

A crowded house is a happy house. We all spent the day in my Mum and Dad's as it was Mum's birthday. My bro and his wife and my sis came down too and we had a reet good day. Mum was in her element with all her "chicks" back at the nest and B and I cooked roast lamb dinner which was awesome (if I say so myself!). She loved her presents (pussy willow tree, 2 DVDs and some handmade cards from us and a coat from Dad) and loved the fact that she did not have to do any cooking! It was so lovely to see the boys playing with everyone, beating my bro G up with baloons and messing about on the lawn with a football. Dad joined in with a roomful of Bat the Balloon which was lovely to see too. We dropped the boys off in Mr Gherkin's parents house for tonight and tomorrow night and came home to our quiet house. I don't like it here when it is quiet but I am sure I will enjoy a quiet night's sleep! 'Night!

Lovely family day

After last night's late night panic blog post only to realise that I could not type from my phone- (need an app!) I am here today after a lovely relaxing family fun day when we all went bowling and then had pizza. Everyone enjoyed themselves enormously, even Cornichon was not too downhearted that he had not regained his winners trophy and Mr Gherkin did not crow that he had usurped the former champion. (I think he wished he had let one of the boys win really!)

I did remarkably well at the all you can eat buffet in the pizza restaurant. I did not even look at the pizza hotplate and just had 0pt salad and then piles of fruit for afters. I was so proud of myself! I put on 1.5lbs on Thursday and am STILL smarting about it! I will be rid of it this week, oh yes I will! Oh shit I just remembered I am supposed to b in a works night out on Thursday! Arrrrrgh!

Rare Night Out

Woo hoo! We managed to get a night out without the boys! We went to see Sherlock Holmes in the cinema, which was OK I guess. I snoozed for while ten started to enjoy it. A guy film - full of swashbuckling and fighting but I guess it was OK. I was not in the mood for that kind of film but I warmed to it none the less. We then went to a lovely pub a car ride from home for a meal which turned into a meal and a few wines and me leaving the car there and getting a taxi home and having to do many typing corrections in this entry. Mr Gherkin and I had good talks about our future and the future of our family and made some pretty big decisions. I will elaborate further some time soon and when I am soberer than this! Today was a good day to remember we are a driving force and are not just sucked into the normal daily routine (that we love!). It was good to be Gherkin and Mr Gherkin and not Mummy and Daddy. Feels good.

Brilliant birthday weekend

This weekend was spent celebrating Little Pickle's first birthday.  I have been thinking about how our family has changed since his arrival and how much I love being part of a foursome, since the fourth corner of the square came along.  I really feel sorry for people who have "only" one child.  I know that this is totally ridiculous as any one who has a child is incredibly lucky to have even one (I want to say blessed but being non-religious I am struggling for a better word than 'lucky') but that said having two is so rewarding, especially when I spy on the two of them interacting with each  other.  It makes my heart melt on a daily basis and I would never change a thing about it.

It was Little Pickle's birthday on Friday and Mr Gherkin had the day off.  We all went to the new swimming pool down the bay.  The boys loved it (as did Mr G and I) and Cornichon was in his element.  I initially thought that he would be clingy and scared but he quickly warmed up and was off splashing on his won quite quickly.  I really wish I could take them swimming more often.  I think that Mr Gherkin and I will make more of an effort to take them in future as it was so great holding them so they could 'chase' each other in the water.  We went to Pizza Hut after the pool and had balloons and a pizza buffet.  Everyone loved this too especially the ice-cream help-yourself bar for afters!  We then went on to an amusement arcade and fiddled about on the racing machines and Cornichon and Little Pickle loved this - riding real motorbikes!  It did not get any better than that!  Cornichon took a shine to air hockey too.  We saved the birthday cake until we got home and had it for tea and Little Pickle loved it when we sang HBTY to him.  I really thought he knew that the day was all for him and that he felt special for it too.

Yesterday was spent with Mum, Dad and Sister Gherkin and Mr Gherkin's Mum and Dad.  They all came here bearing gifts and I provided another birthday cake and some cookies and biscuits.  We ate junk and drank tea and played with yet more presents and again Little Pickle was in his element.  Sister Gherkin stayed over last night and we went to the pub.  Surprisingly we have never really been to the pub just the two of us before!  It has always been with Mr Gherkin or Mum and Dad.  We resolved to rectify this when she moves here in July.  It was so good to get out of the house without the boys and Jon!  I need to get out more and just be me.  I need to get sleep too and just be awake too.