New Year - introspection

I always find myself every new year, in a resolving mood. I love a fresh start to a day, a week, a year, a new exercise book and a clean car interior. I do irritate myself when I let days, weeks, years, books and cars get into such a mess (and they always do). This year, I will not resolve to do lose a zillions pounds by February or read 12 books a week or never each chocolate again as they are easy resolutions to break. This year I will take stock of what I have, use things I need and charity shop everything I don't need or use. We have a reasonable sized house but we have limited storage available. I plan to go through every part of this house (and my life) and re-organise every little corner, understand what we have and what we need and clear out the excess shite and make the most of what we have. Today I tidied 2 cupboards in the kitchen and made a note of things we need and moved things that were in the wrong place and will charity shop the stuff we have that I hate. 2 cupboards down and it's only day 1!

I also spent a hour or so in the garden whilst the boys messed about. It was good to get some fresh air as we have a had a bit of cabin fever these last few days. I want to DO the garden this year. Get a greenhouse. Dig a border along the back fence. Dig up my pots. The front garden needs a LOAD of work done to it but I think that if I focus on the back garden and get that where I want it then I will be brave enough to tackle the front maybe later in the year.

I will re-visit the 101 list and go back to the monthly goals I started last year. When I was blogging and writing them I was doing them and it was good.

This month I shall ...

1. Write and start a weight-loss plan. I work well when I have it written out in front of me.

2. Clean the inside of my car (Mr G did the outside today and I feel compelled to finish it!)

3. Make a playmat for my best mate's little boy.

4. Get a gardening diary and work out my plan for the year.

5. Find a dentist.

6. Complete The Great Organisation of the kitchen.

Come on January - let's get sorted!

Commitment

I logged on here an hour or so ago and could not think of anything to write to I decided not to write anything. I thought about how annoyed I get when Mr G won't commit to arrangements and how this has rubbed off on me and the boys and decided to tackle this head on. I emailed some old (good!) school friends on Facebook with whom I have been meaning to arrange a meeting and told them to get their diaries out and fix a date between us. I also registered for a 5K Race For Life on July 18th!

How is THAT for dynamic commitment and dates in the diary?

WW band wagon once again ...

Yet again I find myself jumping back on the WeightWatchers bandwagon. Honestly, I have been on and off that particular mode of transport more times than I care to think about right now.

This time I mean business. I pay £17-odd a month for something that I am not using. I have paid for it for another 4 weeks and I am NOT doing that again. I have 1 stone to lose then I stop my DD and the sooner the better to be honest. I am fed up with my stomach, my shape, with not fitting into my clothes and not being able to buy any new ones "because I am going to be 10 stone soon so I'll wait 'til then".

I was 11 stone and 1/2 a pound yesterday. Next week I will be 10 stone something.

I bought a pedometer yesterday and wore it religiously today and did well-over the healthy amount of steps. I cooked some low cal food today and stored it in the freezer for emergencies. I did a low point tea for everyone tonight and most importantly I TRACKED everything.

More tomorrow please.

Plus a run.

raging munchies

I am alone (kids asleep) and have the munchies. WW has gone out the window. Come to me my jar of chocolate spread!

In need of some control

I went to WeightWatchers tonight and I put on 2lbs in 2 weeks. That would be because I have been on a major binge for 2 weeks and can't stop filling my face. I got caught red-handed this morning when I had scoffed a choc-chip muffin and hid the evidence behind my bag on the kitchen counter and then Little Pickle pointed at my finger and said "I like a clocker egg!" My chocolatey fingers gave me away and I was rumbled by a not-yet-two-year-old!

I HAD to go to WW tonight as I need to get some control over what goes into my stomach. I have decided to track my food even on the bad days. I have found that my bad days are the days when I don't get much sleep which is every day at the moment as LP wakes at about 11.30 and I get into bed with him and get beaten up all night and wake up feeling lousy. This morning I felt like my spine had been put in a splint going from the top of my head into my pelvis. It is still stiff now, however red wine is making me care less about it. I am going to go to bed before 1030 tonight and try to be strict with LP and not get into bed with him. I WILL do it. I WILL track my food this week. I WILL lose on Thursday.

WW Wagon comes home

I am back on the Weightwatchers wagon because I am so FED UP of binge snacking and not eating proper meals and stealing from the boys' plates.

I CAN do WW. I have got to goal in the past. I lost 2 stone after Little Pickle was born. I have just over 1 stone to go and it will go before I go on holiday.

I will track every day online before I blog (generally last thing at night) and I WILL lose this week.

SO THERE. :Plllllllp

Eating baaaaad stuff today

We went out for lunch at Pizza Hut which was good but Mr Gherkin and I shared a large cheese stuffed crust pizza and a bowl of salad which was waaaaay too much but did not stop me anyway. I then helped Little Pickle out with his nasty sweetie-laden ice-cream and regretted it. I had stomach and chest cramps when we came home and nobody wanted to eat proper tea. I have now just made a rum-laden coffee marscapone dessert for tomorrow night's dinner party with the in-laws and I HAD to keep testing it as I went along. I feel gross. I need to hop back on the WW bus big style this week!

Doing so well then remembering the Rocky Road

I was so good today-remembering the 11 stone yesterday was very helpful. I had a huge wobbly forced by the boys who were playing up and not doing as they were told when I crashed into the sweetie cupboard and destroyed 2 pieces of Rocky Road. The roast chicked skin had a bashing too. I don't know why. Well I do. I was prepared with 0pt snacks but they were not very exciting or tasty - steamed veg , naked. Should have got the mustard on standby.

Paying for a crap day in work

A shit day in work deserves an early night. 1 ranting customer + failed trip to doctors + pizza + chinese curry + half tube pringles = 11 stone on the scales. Why do I do this to myself?

Lovely family day

After last night's late night panic blog post only to realise that I could not type from my phone- (need an app!) I am here today after a lovely relaxing family fun day when we all went bowling and then had pizza. Everyone enjoyed themselves enormously, even Cornichon was not too downhearted that he had not regained his winners trophy and Mr Gherkin did not crow that he had usurped the former champion. (I think he wished he had let one of the boys win really!)

I did remarkably well at the all you can eat buffet in the pizza restaurant. I did not even look at the pizza hotplate and just had 0pt salad and then piles of fruit for afters. I was so proud of myself! I put on 1.5lbs on Thursday and am STILL smarting about it! I will be rid of it this week, oh yes I will! Oh shit I just remembered I am supposed to b in a works night out on Thursday! Arrrrrgh!

Feeling under the weather

I just feel a bit ruff today. My face came out in a rash all over and down my neck, my nose is sore and I have ulcers at the back of my mouth which make eating painful. My glands are up and I feel tired and I have no energy. Ironically I had 8 full uninterrupted hours of sleep last night! I went to bed at 2230 and was woken at 0640 by Cornichon! I can't remember the last time that happened!

I am off to the doc's tomorrow for myself for the first time in ages! I neeeeeeed a boost. I put on 1.5lbs this week too. This is not good. Energy where are you?

Give in and join 'em

Today I finally accepted that I might have enough grey hairs to warrant a buying some hair dye. I have never been a girl who spends ANY money on her hair (about 4 cuts a year and then all the sameish style, bog standard shampoo and conditioner and about 3 pots of curl creme a year). I have a stand-offish relationship with my hair - I leave it do what it wants and we don't argue. It has been chestnut brown all my life (I did put cheap temp orange streaks in it when I was 17 but they only lasted a day or so) with a few natural highights from Tenerife 2 months ago and until now I have only seen about 6 grey hairs. Pretty good don't you think? I now catch myself looking for grey hairs and have found more than 2 on a few occasions and decided that I need to sort this out and stop myself from searching for old age! I have taken some baaaad photos of myself recently and noticed how haggard I am looking. The sleep situation still has not improved with the boys and it is showing in the mirror. This is not good. I am not a pretty woman but I just look grotesque now (OK so taking pics of myself is never going to be flattering) and I am in need of a boost. Hair is now all 120 Dark brown (although for a moment under the tap I did think I would be indigo) and I am off to bed at 1100 for a treat. I will book a haircut for Feb (when we are not skint). By that time I will have lost loads of weight and be looking fab and deserving of my facial (Christmas present from Mr Gherkin). Did I tell you I lost 5lbs this week? Woo hoo!

To resolve, or not to resolve ...

Here we are -Day 3 of the new Year and already I am on my third blog post! How long will it last? Who can tell? I'm not saying I made a resolution to blog every day.... but I am going to blog whenever I can. Even if I have nothing to say. Like today.

Oh I think I lost about 5 lbs since yesterday! woo hoo! I went back to Weightwatchers with a fervour yesterday, determined to stop bingeing like I had been doing for the month of December. I weighed 11 stone 1 lb which meant I managed to put on 6.5 lbs in 2 weeks! And about 5 in December anyway. I felt gross. I have been super good since yesterday (apart from going out for a meal and getting drunk last night which was NOT planned. I have paid for it today though and been very virtuous. Yay me! I weighed this morning in the bathroom and seemed to have lost 5 lbs! Yay again! We'll see what the official scales say next week though!

Focus

Well I lost 0.5 lbs this week in weight-watchers.  I had no focus all week (so much for my hopes!) but I have regained focus today and yesterday and have a constant reminder to keep me in line - I am painting my nails, on nail a day for every good day when I stick to my tracking.  It has worked for 2 days as I see my unfinished nails every time my grubby little mitts start to reach for the bad stuff and I am reminded how much I want 2 hands full of varnish!  I know it sounds crap but it is working for me so ner ner ne ner ner.

I had such a terrible night's sleep last night it is unreal.  I have been on autopilot all day - thank gppdness my sister came down to help with the kids.  I think Mr Gherkin and I would have bickered all day if she had  ot!  Everything is OK now though.  Little Pickle is asleep here on the sofa with Mr Gherkin and I really really really hope that he stays asleep for a reasonable chunk of the night at least.  Up and down since 0152 is not a good way to start the day!

I bought a pair of curtains in a charity shop on Friday with the plan to unpick them and use the fabric for bag linings.  The fabric is cream with a textured pattern through it and I think it will make good lining material.  I just need to sort out my camera and post some pics!

Really need to get some sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp

A New Week

I started this weight-watching week with a spring in my step and am adamant that I will lose more than 1lb on Saturday.  Mr Gherkin and I went out for a curry last night and I must have had a bottle of  wine to myself but I still managed to only go 4 points over and have made up for that already today.  I  am virtuous and so full of vegetables I may turn into a tomato!  I have 12 lbs to go before I hit target (I have already lost 2st 2lbs!) and I would love to hit that before my brother's wedding in June.  I have not bought an outfit for it yet in the hope that I will be 10st again!  I  will do it.

Introduction

I suppose a good way to start this blog would be to reveal some stuff about me...

I'm Gherkin.   I live in Wales.   I am 33.  I am happily married with 2 fantastic little boys and I love spending time with my family.  I love so many things but do not have the time to do most of them.  I love crafting and making stuff and would love to stop time at the end of every day and spend a few hours pottering about with a bag of fabric scraps or a box of beads.  Such a shame that life gets in the way so often and ironing needs to be done or bathrooms have to be cleaned!  I love being active and am in the process of losing 3 stones in weight (just under 1 stone to go! Woo hoo!).  I have recently resurged a love for gardening and am working on a vegetable patch and planting out a load of plants that are pot-bound and have been waiting to be planted for months.  I love reading and have recently finished Memoirs of a Geisha which I could not put down and was sad to finish.  I have a sleep problem (I don't get enough) but that can be remedied with a quick log off.

Nighty Nighty