Not Right

I sit here, on pins, waiting for this first "Mummmmmyyyyyyy?" of what I think could be a very long night.  Both little gherkins are asleep but they are neither of them 'right'  I would not be surprised if Little Pickle is up puking all night and Cornichon has started going complaining about this, that and the other but nothing specific after 'lights out'.  Tonight's one was "I feel funny".  Little Pickle was sick this afternoon after drinking too much squash and also had a nap for half an hour at 5 which he never normally does unless he is ill.

I do so hate to see my little ones poorly but I am lucky that a night of not being 'right' is the worst of my worries, knowing that there are so many parents out there who have much bigger worries on a daily basis to contend with.  Poor little April Jones's parents - what on earth are they going through tonight?  My heart breaks for them.  Sleep well little April.

When I hear the "Mummmmmmmmmyyyyy?" tonight I will be glad to go in and cuddle them better even more so if the first "Mummmmmmyyyyy?" comes at 0650 tomorrow.

Happy Days (cough cough)

Things are good here right now. I went back to work today which was insane but not bad. I came home to two lovely smilers who are both leaning to sleep. We had a full night of sleep last night as LP is going to sleep on his own and I had the pleasure of being kept awake by my own little irritating cough - not an irritation from anyone else in the house! Strange but pleasantly true after 4 years of constant bad nights!

A night with the in-laws, on the wii with wiine in hand and currii on the table.

I'm happy, mii (as they say round 'year)

Small Challenges

I made a bet with myself tonight as I made tea for the boys. I bet myself I would be able to resist picking at their tea (frankfurter sausages in ratatouille with rice). And I DID! I love frankfurter sausages (they are soooo gross but sooooo addictive and once I pop I can't stop. Anyway I was strong all through teatime and did not try one (as I know that would have broken the seal) and even when clearing the table I did not break. I was so pleased with myself that I decided to go for a run after putting the kids down and I DID! It was was lovely too - through the woods which were bursting with wood anemones and threatening to explode with the promise of bluebells. I came home invigorated and refreshed and not hungry and very pleased with myself. I then shaved my legs and prepped my toes with the first part of a pedicure. I am soooo organised and ready for an early night! Get me!

Shitty day in work

I had one of those days that you can't explain today. I was in work. I was very busy. I got called into a meeting (which sucked my ARSE and made be decide to leave my job) at 1430 and HAD to lave at 1600. The meeting finished at 1545 and I came back to find I had a MOUND of work left to do and attacked it and left at 1640 as I knew Mr G would be there for the boys and the in-laws and came home to my two smiley boys who were full of fun and fresh air and made me feel all the more emotional and in need of some cuddles and support which I got after asking for it and they made me feel good as did some wine after bed-time. I am hoping for the 4TH, yes 4TH never-been-seen-before-since-kids full night's sleep in a row.

Bring it on - so I can spend tomorrow emptying the work shit out of my head.

Family party

Tomorrow it is my father-in-law's 70th birthday. He sure does not look and certainly does not act it and I am sure he does not think he is actually 70. He is a big kid at heart hose favourite pastime ever is messing about with his grandsons. I am so lucky to have such lovely in-laws who love me and Mr G and adore and dote on our boys. They look after them for 2 days a week whilst I work even though they live 35 miles away and have to get up at the crack of dawn and get home on Tuesday in the dark. They love coming here and we love having them here. We took them out for a meal this evening to our local Italian restaurant. The food was lovely, the wine was fab (shame 2 of us were driving) and the boys were really well-bejaved even though they were tired towards the end. We came home for Rocky Road Birthday Cake and Candles that we all 4 of us made yesterday and which is F-i-L's absolute favourite, and the boys went to bed at about 8.30 which is way later than usual (though Little Pickle did have a little nap in the restaurant he perked up when the RR came on the table!). I hope the boys sleep well tonight. Little P has been bad recently but I think that is more to do with me than him. I need to go to bed earlier and be in a better state to go to him when he wakes and soothe him without picking him up and getting into the double bed with him and having terrible sleep after this (like last night and the night before and before that). Hopefully a good night tonight will inspire me into another one tomorrow night without the grand-help!

Crowded House

A crowded house is a happy house. We all spent the day in my Mum and Dad's as it was Mum's birthday. My bro and his wife and my sis came down too and we had a reet good day. Mum was in her element with all her "chicks" back at the nest and B and I cooked roast lamb dinner which was awesome (if I say so myself!). She loved her presents (pussy willow tree, 2 DVDs and some handmade cards from us and a coat from Dad) and loved the fact that she did not have to do any cooking! It was so lovely to see the boys playing with everyone, beating my bro G up with baloons and messing about on the lawn with a football. Dad joined in with a roomful of Bat the Balloon which was lovely to see too. We dropped the boys off in Mr Gherkin's parents house for tonight and tomorrow night and came home to our quiet house. I don't like it here when it is quiet but I am sure I will enjoy a quiet night's sleep! 'Night!

Ooops I did it again.

I was just about to compose a new post last night when Cornichon yelled out for me at 1230am. It was the start of a looooong night which ended with me being rescued by Mr Gherkin at 0745 and having a solo lie-in until 0930. It did not feel like a lie-in it felt like the start of the night. I was OK today though. Well maybe I was not the best parent all day. We had the TV on all morning and then when I actually wanted to watch the rugby at 2pm the boys had had enough of it and started playing up (cabin fever was high). We went out to Asda after the rugby (woo hoo!) and had crapola tea there but they were good as gold even though they were afraid of the dark. Cornichon was moaning when we were getting back in the car and it was dark which kicked off Little Pickle and I told Cornichon to show Little Pickle how there was nothing to be afraid of so he did "There's nothing to be afraid of, it's only dark!" and they were both fine! Little Pickle then repeated "No Fray" all the way home! How sweet! Mr G was in town watching the rugby so I did nNight Night alone and they were fab. They both jumped out of the bath together into one towel and we allsnuggled up in Cornichon's bed for a story. It was beaut.

We're only sleeping

After so many posts about bad sleeping, I have to admit that the sleep situation is greatly improved here in the Gherkin Jar. Well for the boys at least. Cornichon is sleeping better and has managed a few nights all the way through until 6, as has Little Pickle which is awesome. I, on the other hand, have started going to sleep when I put the boys to bed, sleeping for 2 hours and then going to bed at 12 and not being able to sleep myself! ,Though this may be irritating for me it is all my fault and infinitely preferable to being woken up several times a night and being beaten up by a slumbering or not slumbering small boy for several hours before uprightness. Need to work on it but it's getting better all the time!

tired, so tired

I am so tired I could fall asleep standing up. 'Night.

So tired. Brain not working. Fingers pressing wrong buttons. Tonight the in-laws are staying over and will watch the boys. I sleep.

I have no kids in the house. I fell asleep in front of Angels and Demons (which I never do - so much to do!) and now I can't sleep. I am in work tomorrow and Mr Gherkin is not. Why is this happening? Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!

Bath Night

There are days when I am a good mother; I achieve things, the boys have fun and the house looks reasonable.  Today was not one of those days.  I am not getting enough sleep (not really though any fault of anyone else but myself I must add!)  Little pickle is more or less sleeping through but wakes at 6ish every morning which is fine really compared to waking up 3 times a night but not fine if I don't get to bed until bleedin 1am!  I am going to have a bath tonight (I have not had one for weeks!) and I have been looking forward to it all day.  Beautiful lavender bubble bath awaits me and a good slice of my current book Room For A Single Lady and hopefully an early night.  unless the pesky internet snares me again!  Good night!

Focus

Well I lost 0.5 lbs this week in weight-watchers.  I had no focus all week (so much for my hopes!) but I have regained focus today and yesterday and have a constant reminder to keep me in line - I am painting my nails, on nail a day for every good day when I stick to my tracking.  It has worked for 2 days as I see my unfinished nails every time my grubby little mitts start to reach for the bad stuff and I am reminded how much I want 2 hands full of varnish!  I know it sounds crap but it is working for me so ner ner ne ner ner.

I had such a terrible night's sleep last night it is unreal.  I have been on autopilot all day - thank gppdness my sister came down to help with the kids.  I think Mr Gherkin and I would have bickered all day if she had  ot!  Everything is OK now though.  Little Pickle is asleep here on the sofa with Mr Gherkin and I really really really hope that he stays asleep for a reasonable chunk of the night at least.  Up and down since 0152 is not a good way to start the day!

I bought a pair of curtains in a charity shop on Friday with the plan to unpick them and use the fabric for bag linings.  The fabric is cream with a textured pattern through it and I think it will make good lining material.  I just need to sort out my camera and post some pics!

Really need to get some sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp

Caffeine I loved you, but now I hate you

Wow.  After a 2-day long crushing hangover-type feeling, I worked out that it is due to caffeine withdrawal symptoms.  I felt so rough last night I could not bring myself to blog and went to bed, sleeping through until 0550 this morning.  This is phenomenal in the Gherkin Jar!  Littlest Gherkin (Cornichon) has never slept through the night, until the night before last when he went right through until yesterday morning without a whimper (yay!) causing me to shun the caffeine for the first time in weeks and which brought on a cracking eye-ache all day yesterday which got worse by bed-time and carried on through the night and was with me when I woke this morning!  I felt like I had a hangover which was somewhat unfair as I had not even had a glass of wine!  I have been on decaff for about 6 years now and I love it but recently Cornichon's sleeping has been so bad I had to get my caffeinated friend back out and although it has only been 2 maybe 3 cups of (OK strong) coffee a day I can't believe I had withdrawals on my first day without any!  What an evil witch she is.  Give me her calming sister, Decaff any day!

Introduction

I suppose a good way to start this blog would be to reveal some stuff about me...

I'm Gherkin.   I live in Wales.   I am 33.  I am happily married with 2 fantastic little boys and I love spending time with my family.  I love so many things but do not have the time to do most of them.  I love crafting and making stuff and would love to stop time at the end of every day and spend a few hours pottering about with a bag of fabric scraps or a box of beads.  Such a shame that life gets in the way so often and ironing needs to be done or bathrooms have to be cleaned!  I love being active and am in the process of losing 3 stones in weight (just under 1 stone to go! Woo hoo!).  I have recently resurged a love for gardening and am working on a vegetable patch and planting out a load of plants that are pot-bound and have been waiting to be planted for months.  I love reading and have recently finished Memoirs of a Geisha which I could not put down and was sad to finish.  I have a sleep problem (I don't get enough) but that can be remedied with a quick log off.

Nighty Nighty